I was in a parking lot walking towards a restaurant not long ago when an older gentlemen slowly stopped me with a pointing finger. He said, “hey…did you grow up in San Francisco?”
After a few seconds of processing, I realized I was wearing my San Francisco Giants hat. Side note…I grew up watching the Giants and am a big Will Clark (#22) fan. I am still actively angry with the Major League Baseball (MLB) Hall of Fame for not inducting him after his All Star career, but I digress...
The answer to the question was simple…”no.” The first response that pre-populated in my mind was..."no." He probably would have said “ok, have a nice day” (that is how we talk to each other in the state of North Carolina, USA) and we would have moved on getting food from the same restaurant.
Instead of saying "no," I said, “I grew up somewhere else but have been there and love the Giants. Are you from SF?” We had a few minutes conversation about his family growing up there, how he misses it, and why he lives in North Carolina now. The answer was “no,” but the response didn’t have to be in this situation. Saying "no" without using the word "no" led to a conversation and an opportunity to engage with someone I didn't know.
Saying "no" is a critical skillset for entrepreneurs. It is the way you maintain your focus. We tend to wear a pair of "enterprenural glasses" that block out everything in the world around us (in our office and outside of it). We tend to only look straight ahead. In our pursuit of focus, we just say "no" and move to the next priority. We become skilled at the various ways to provide a professional, well-crafted, automatic response that says "no" as a default response (see https://www.johnreites.com/27-ways-to-effectively-say-no/ for examples).
In our pursuit of this relentless focus and default "no" position, we just have to be thoughtful and balanced with when we use this simple response.
If we are not careful, we may miss an opportunity to connect with someone, to learn something new or to simply be human stepping outside of our "relentless focus bubble" as a founder.
